Becoming Flawsome

There’s just something about people who embrace their flaws.

People that know that they aren’t perfect, but accept that about themselves and embrace their imperfections.

And yet, do I really accept my flaws ?

Do any of us ?

Between all of the high-end cosmetics (if you’re shocked by the image, you’d be traumatized by their price tags), lotions and potions that are standing on my bathroom vanity right now, I have to admit that I have a lot of work to do in this department.

A must watch on this subject is Kelli Jean on Ted Talk :

She explains that people (especially women) will do almost anything to not be one thing : Fat.

Kelli affirms that billion dollar industries thrive because of the fear of being fat.

She is not chubby or cuddly, voluptuous or curvy she is Fat and she is Fabulously Beautiful.

When you watch her talk so confidently, it will make you envious  :

I wish I had her confidence. Even when she is far from what our society  would call “perfect”.

Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than being ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’?

-J.K. Rowling

https://www.ted.com/speakers/kelli_jean_drinkwater

There is something endearing and inspiring about someone who can be proud of their “imperfections”

If Tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think about how many industries would go out of business

– Dr. Gail Dines

The urban dictionary defines ”flawsome” as:

”Flawsome. Something that is totally awesome, but not without it’s flaws.”

A “Flaw” however, in this context does not refer to a detrimental quality or a life changing mistake, the focus is rather on a small mishap, idiosyncrasy or quirk.

I have a couple of crooked teeth for example. Growing up, I saw all the teenagers getting braces and after having them removed having perfectly symmetrical smiles. When I asked my dentist about fixing my tooth he said : You’re teeth are fine, it gives you character and charm. After all, it’s imperfections like these that make the world’s most beautiful faces.

In Western countries, crooked teeth are seen as imperfections and most people consider a straight set of pearly whites ideal.The story is slightly different in Japan, where “yaeba,” or snaggletooth, are considered cute; with some men finding the imperfect smile they form enduringly childlike and attractive

 

What makes you different or simply the quality of being transparent and not claiming to be more than you are is to be flawsome.

Before and After Makeup
All Women are pretty without makeup but can become pretty powerful with the right makeup

For example I used to spend hours trying to hide all my blemishes with concealer. I could have used that time cooking with my boyfriend, playing with my dog, reading, enjoying a nice stroll in nature, spending quality time with my grandmother or writing in this blog which are all thing that would have made me smile.

Becoming more aware of what’s really worth your energy is key.

The opposite to being flawsome would be presenting or marketing yourself as perfect and flawless.

Social Comparison

Nowadays, people seem to be obsessed with showing off their lives on social media so that the whole world knows how they live a ”perfect, Happy Life”.

What’s the point of being happy if you’re not going to post it right ?

One of my guilty pleasures is looking at what stars look like without makeup. Some look just as pretty (if not more) without it but let’s be honest here, with professional teams of hair and makeup that follows them around all day it’s rare seeing celebrities out and about without their faces on. And we’re all here wishing we’d look like them.

 

Another example is seeing those (annoying) romantic couple on our newsfeed because it serves as a constant reminder that everyone on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc are having perfect relationships.

 

Single? well let’s just say I can sympathise with your resentment. It’s quite easy to forget that people only post their best moments online while hiding their worse.

Personal anecdote

I used to religiously train at a CrossFit gym and there was this “perfect” couple that used to train every morning with me. I remember thinking “that’s what I want, a relationship like that” They did the workout together, holded hands, took selfies, they always locked lips after the workout, wore matching clothes, bragged about their romantic adventure on social media, etc. Little did I know, their marriage was so broken they were on the verge of getting a divorce.

So much effort was put into presenting themselves as the “perfect couple” on social medias and in public. Why ? Because maybe they thought that the success of their relationship was measured by the amount of likes they would get on the pictures they posted about their date, or how romantic their post seemed to be.

The word ‘Imperfect’ actually spells ‘I’m perfect’ because everyone is perfect in their own imperfect ways.

– Anonymous

Checklist to being Flawsome 

  1. Being Flawsome doesn’t idealize one particular body image

How many times have you hear “Real women have curves” or  “Nothing feels as good as skinny feels” ?

That last one makes me cringe…

Flawsome is not about pushing you towards being a gym rat, being toothpick thin, eating clean or not taking care of your physical appearance anymore ; it’s about embracing you, as you are, and loving yourself.

 

You deserve to be happy

You deserve to live a life you’re excited about

Not one drop of your self-worth depends on other people’s acceptance of you so make yourself proud !

2. Being Flawsome builds confidence from the inside out

Your lines and wrinkles are emotional souvenirs. They’re a representation of every emotion we have experienced thought-out our lives, therefore, they are a reminder of what made us who we are today. You don’t have crow’s-feet, you have laugh lines and they were worth it !

 

Cellulite, wrinkles and dimples are totally normal.

I could go on and on but the point is :

It’s not your body that’s flawed, it’s your belief system 

Despite what the beauty industry claims, true confidence doesn’t always come from what’s on the outside (or from a bottle…).

Recognize your value and your talent and do something about it !

Reach those personal goals, finish that project you always wanted to do and most importantly do things that bring you happiness. Each of us bring something special to this world.

3. Being Flawsome alters our notions of perfections

Rather than altering yourself to fit the mold of “perfection”

(that changes every couple of years by the way)

CHANGE IT !

The reasons why so many girls struggle with body image is because they think, no let me rephrase that…  They’re  absolutely sure that there is a “more perfect” version of themselves that’s hidden inside of them and with hard work they will reveal it.

Go on about your days with confidence, don’t hide, don’t complain and stop spending precious time and money on altering your already perfectly, unique self.

Give up Perfect for Being Authentic
– Hal Elrod

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